Contest:Kabuto's revenge

For Yakushi Kabuto that wasn't good day. He spent it all on working in his laboratory (dissecting was very hard today and he didn't know why) and he was really exhausted. He thought about nothing more than going to his room and get some sleep. And before that - long, warm shower. There was nothing better than that after hard day. He'd want to eat good dinner too, but there was no one who could possibly cook in Oto-Gakure no Sato. Shame for that Kabuto thought when he went from lab to his own bathroom. He was all covered by blood (lucky, not his own blood) and that blood had already clotted what was really uncomfortable.
When he went through corridor he was sure he saw Sasuke, who got green on face and probably went to puke. Kabuto felt a little satisfaction - making Sasuke sick was his small hobby.
He went to bathroom and started to undress himself. He put his hair down, took off glasses, threw on the floor his belt, shirt and pants. Then he tried to got off his underwear but suddenly, he heard something - little giggle form the shower.
He thought he was gonna explode. Those people. Again!
'OUT!' he screamed hoping that person who was under his shower was fast enough to run away from him. Actually, she (or he but with very girly voice) was fast enough. Unfortunately, just near door, she (or he, Kabuto really didn't see) had to open her/his mouth.
'Kabu-chan, you look very cute in underwear. Are those little scalpels on your boxers?'
And she/he run away.
Kabuto was on edge. One more second and he would kill that person. He was totally pissed off.
'Enough.'
He exited bathroom and went threw corridor to place where - as he thought - his problems would be solved. But after few steps, he turn to corner and started to talk very loud.
'Don't even think about it!'
That wasn't even second when behind corner appeared boy's head. He had got similar to Kabuto's ponytail but brown hair, black headband and warm brown eyes. Kabuto also could see his black shirt whit big collar.
Boy looked at Kabuto with surprise on his face.
'I said: don't even think about it!' replied Kabuto.
Boy took off earpieces.
'Sorry, I was listening to the music' he said with embarrassment and laughed nervously. 'What can I do, Kabuto-san?'
'Don't even thing of drawing me right now!'
'Well... I have day off and I'm searching for inspire to my new Feagan and Desmond. And I think I've good idea! YAY!' he said happily. 'Oh, sorry, Kabuto-san, why I shouldn't draw you...? Eep!'
That wasn't even a second. That was miracle boy actually avoided thrown Kunai at him. Maybe not miracle, only that Kabuto still didn't have his glasses. Boy was scared for life. And he really didn't want to know form where Kabuto actually took out it.
'I don't want to see you for week starting form now!' Kabuto shouted and gone away.
Boy in that second giggled and thought that following Kabuto could be worth something. So he turned off music and went after him. Second later, he realized that Kabuto was almost naked. That really could be funny.
After few minutes Kabuto found place where he wanted to go. He even didn't bother in knocking - he just opened the door.
He went to Orochimaru's cabinet. And Orochimaru actually was there reading some book and drinking coffee. And in moment Kabuto entered the room, Orochimaru chocked.
'Kabuto?'
'Orochimaru-sama, I've got enough! I really can't stand more! They are everywhere! Most of them are rude! I don't know most of them but they called me "-chan"! They are pervert, don't respect my privacy and don't give something in return!'
Orochimaru blinked few times and then gave fast look on boy who was peaking through not closed door.  Boy was scared but after second he realized that Orochimaru smiled at him so he calmed down.
'So, Kabuto, where did you find your fangirl this time?' Orochimaru asked.
'I'm not sure if that wasn't actually fanboy. No, no Artist-kun this time, he is kinda polite and I don't know if he isn't plotting something bad for rest. Or maybe he thinks lately only about his OC characters. Well, it doesn't matter now' Kabuto said. Orochimaru smiled again.
'Are you jealous?'
Kabuto got very angry again.
'I'M NOT! I'm not talking about him right now! My point is... Orochimaru-sama, I really want to ask you to do not laugh, please. I've got serious problem. I found fan under my shower! I really had enough, I want to ask you, Orochimaru-sama, to make them leav...'
'Kabuto, we run out of ninja' Orochimaru cut him short.
'Pardon me?'
'We run out of ninja, Kabuto. We need new teams.'
Suddenly, Kabuto smiled. He understood.
Boy, who was called Artist-kun, in same moment gone pale and wanted to run away.
'Oh no, I know you're there, Artist-kun. You're such a suicide.' Kabuto went to door and took boy by his shirt and threw him to room almost knocked him down. But after a while Kabuto put gently hand on boy's shoulder, what made boy more terrified  than ever. 'Are you ready to die for Oto-Gakure no Sato?'
***
In the biggest Oto corridor was many chairs. Every of it was occupied by people in very different outfits. Most of them were girls, but if somebody would look closer, there were even some boys. Many of them had sketchbooks and pencils, few notebooks and pens. They all looked like they were waiting for something. Something what was behind big, wooden doors with big poster on it, which said:
"Dear my fangirls and fanboys.
NO YAOI!
No yuri (but I want! said beautiful, violet letters near that)
No hentai.
Even if I want to meet everyone, there is some things I can't stand, ok? I believe you can understand me. If you don't - well, now it's little to late. Break the rules and you're seriously dead. You really could think before. And any objection is treated in the same way.
So - meeting starts at 8 am and ends when it will end. Everyone will be asked to go to room personally.
With greetings
Yakushi Kabuto."
In hours line to room was getting smaller and shorter. Every talk was really long and nobody even got out form there to tell what happened inside. Atmosphere was really nervous and it was getting really late. In the end only three people left. Boy who was listening to some music and had opened sketchbook - yes, that one called Artist-kun - girl with long blond-brown hair in plait and big blue eyes who was little scared (she had pencil), and grumpy girl who looked like the oldest one. She had long brown, unkempt hair, really big, gray eyes and note in her hands.
'Did I tell you I've got bad feeling about this?' last girl asked. Scary one looked at her.
'About thirty times already, but I lost count about fifteen.'
'Really? But it's so true. You know, Kabuto is son of a... oh, you know. That cannot be good when he invited all his fans to one place! He'd always prefer we stay home, not in Oto! He is plotting something!'
'So you should stay at your home'
' I wish! But that stupid emokid came to my home and took me here! Do you believe? Because I don't!'
'Sasuke-san took you here? Aren't you Kabuto's fan? I thought all fans come here on their free will.'
'Most of them' boy said turning off his music. 'There was some annoying fans who have never been in Oto. So Orochimaru-sama made them come. What is bad for them because they can't go back by themselves.'
'Yep, that's right. I have nothing what can help me get back. And I've never been here because I'm not suicide person! By the way, Asiootus. Nice to meet you.'
'They called me Mr.Artist. Nice to meet you too' said boy.
'Like I thought kid that was you. And you?' Asiootus asked.
Girl was looking at boy with sparkles in her eyes.
'SENPAI!!! It's so nice to meet you! It's me, Crazyhighlander!' she shouted. She was very excited.
'Yes, ignore me, I really don't mind' Asiootus mumbled but she was ignored.
'Oh, yes, so nice to meet you too!' he smiled. 'I guess you're very excited about meeting with Kabuto-san. He isn't that bad. He probably wouldn't kill anyone and maybe even wouldn't show his lab. You know show'
Suddenly doors opened and Kabuto came out with long scroll.
'Girl of shitty Kabu-kitty...' In the same moment his face went dark and he turned back to his cabinet. 'Who the hell gave poet a pen! I said no your own jutsu without permission. Take pen form her, Sasuke-kun! You suppose to keep an eye on them!' He turned back to them again. 'I'm so sorry, Marie-chan, they made me say that. I really don't think like that. So it's your turn now, please, come on.'
His smile was so nice and innocent that girl smiled back and went after him.
Door was closed again.
'Shit, his acting is so great that I would believe him' Asiootus said.
'Me too. Sometimes he creeps me out'
'Only sometimes?'
'Ok, most of time.'
Silence. But it wasn't long.
'Kid, could you tell me what's going on here? You know, you're in Oto almost all time so you must know.'
'I cannot tell you. But you had to do something really bad for Kabuto-san if you're here.'
'I didn't do anything! I've never been in Oto before!'
'Did you draw anything about him? Or maybe write?'
'Well... yes. But what that...?'
'Did it contain some yaoi or yuri?'
'Never.'
'Abusing him in that?'
Her face got red.
'A little. But it wasn't something really bad!'
'So I don't know'
Door opened again.
'Artist-kun, your turn.' Kabuto said.
Boy came to room.
She stayed alone thinking of way to run away. But boy spent on talk only two minutes and Kabuto asked her to went to room.
'Asia-chan, come on. Thanks god, you're the last one. But believe me, not least' Kabuto said.
'I have feeling you done that on purpose' she said while walking after him.
'You really think that everything is about you?'
'Oh, did you notice? You're really smart, Kabuto-san!' she said in ironic way.
'Well, at least you're polite. Sit down please so we can start our talk' She sit. 'So, what can I say about you, girl. You're about my age, little younger, you've never made me doing something wrong, I kinda like the idea how you show me - good medic with common sense, little crazy, but I like when you treat me like normal, young man. Your OC's are even nice. So I would say, you're free.'
'Excuse me?' she asked. She would never expected he could tell her so. She started to have really bad feeling.
'But...'
'I knew!'
'But I don't like you...
'There is almost no one who likes me.'
'...because you interrupting me all time! And you talk all the time! I cannot finish a sentence and you are all bla bla bla. You think that you are all over everything, the best, the funniest, the smartest...'
'And you're jealous because that it's your thing, yes?'
'You're really pissing me off. And Sasuke-kun, likes you. And Orochimaru-sama too...'
'Well, I'm not drinking any alcohol this year.'
'So Orochimaru-sama doesn't like you. But Sasuke-kun still... I don't know why.'
'But I have idea. I'm totally pissing you off. It is fun to him. And I must say, to me too' she had grin. Kabuto gave her dark look.
'Team #4. Along with that crazy girl and suicider.'
'You mean, that kid?'
'Yes, with him. If there weren't those two, I would send you back at home. Since you don't drink...'
'You're not that smart as you think, Kabuto-san. I suppose you told those two same thing. Divide and rule. But I'll try to not play in your games, Kabuto-san. That door, yes?' she pointed at different door that that she entered.
'Yes, that one. Tell them that you have two hours to know each other better. Then you've got mission. Ask Sasuke-kun where you need to go. And, Asia-chan... we will see if you're gonna play my games. See you in two hours.'
She exited the room and closed the door.
'Ufff... that was hard one' she said and she looked at two people form her team. Boy was playing with his pencil and girl was looking into the end of corridor with love in her eyes. 'What the hell...?'
'She saw Sasuke' boy said. 'Few minutes ago. And she hasn't said a word since then.'
'Oh, not nice. Sasuke supposes to take us to a room, so we can know each others better. Kabuto-san told you that?'
'Yes... even earlier that you all. He asked me if I was ready to die for Oto. So... we are ninja now?'
'Yes, I think, we are ninja.'
There were few more minutes they waited for Sasuke's came back and they didn't say a word. Only Marie few times sighed with love in her voice. And when Sasuke came back, boy and older girl thought that Marie was going to faint.
'Hello, Asiootus-san, I hope your not mad at me. I had to take you here, I like how you're pissing off that four-eyed bastard. But, never mind. You all need to know one thing. I don't like you all. Especially you, Artist. And even you, girl' he told to Marie. And in that second she looked like she wanted to cry.
'Ok, emo-kid, just tell us, where we need to go and leave us, ok?' older girl said angrily.
'Whatever! Just go after me'
And he went down corridor. Boy went just after him, older girl wanted too, but she noticed that Marie was really going to cry.
'Ok, youngster, come on.' older girl said and put gently hand on her shoulder. 'It's just Sasuke. Emo-kid, like no one. Don't worry.'
'But I like him! He is so cool!'
'But he has to be like that! We love him because of that attitude!'
'Yes, you're right.' Marie lighten up and smiled. 'You really think so?'
'Really? No, I hate him. He is an idiot.'
It was like something very hard hit Marie's head.
'You're really not nice!'
'No way!' Asiootus said ironically. 'Now, come on, we need to talk before our obvious death.'
***
Sasuke left them in small room with only one table and four chairs. They sat on those chairs and started talking, but their talk was kinda shy and they didn't actually know what they should say. Marie was still little sad about Sasuke, and Artist started drawing something after telling that he had idea. Asia just sit for some time. But that was only matter of time, when two girls started talking about they favorite part of Kabuto's attitude. Artist was too focused on his own drawing to pay attention on them. And there wasn't long time when they started arguing a little.
'Kakakabu is amazing! I don't know how somebody possibly can't like it! They are both sexy and with silver hair and...' Marie said in very enthusiastic way. And it's only annoy older girl.
'Oh, give me a break! How may times they talked? Once? That kind of relationship they could have? Rivalry, maybe but this is improbable. And Kakashi's only love is his porn! I mean "Icha Icha". Beside, Kabuto is more necro... Oi! That hurts!'
She was hit in her head and she almost hit the table by her nose. They all turned back, and saw very annoyed Kabuto behind girl's back.
'End this word and and dissect will be reason of your death' he said calm, but in his eyes was something very bad. 'Well, we are here all so we can start our meeting. First thing...'
'You're son of a...'
'Asia-chan, that's enough. You really should be more polite, just how you used to be. It's really not smart to make stronger person angry at you, right?'
She stayed quiet. Her head still hurt her. She gave him dark look and clenched her teeth.
'So, if Asia-chan decided she will be a good girl and stay quiet... I said STAY QUIET!' he said angrily when he noticed that she opened her mouth again. Artist gave her dark and a little scary look. Marie obviously didn't notice anything. She only looked at Kabuto with love in her eyes. Kabuto felt a little unsecured, but that was way better than covering under shower so he could stand that. 'Well, can we start? So, as my last Otonin team, without many jutsus... so you know, your every mission will be kinda hard. But you have luck, I don't have more ide... ekhm' he cleared his throat and looked at the stone-wall. 'I mean, there is no dangerous mission left, so you get D-rank mission. But as soon as there will be better mission you're all in. But, let me tell you about details, OK?' he smiled kinda innocent but very creepy. He sat on the last chair. 'Oto-Gakure no Sato is very big place. Big and unfortunately very dirty place. Your task is to clean Oto. You start form my labs...' he looked at older girl whose eyes sparkle a little '...yes, my labs. That is task for Artist-kun and Marie-chan. Asia-chan, you will clean kitchen...'
'Oh, come on!' she said loudly. She was very disappointed. 'I want to help them! They are my team. I want to help them!'
'You're quite easy to read. I know you want to see my labs, so kitchen is good place for you. Beside, I want you to do special thing. I'll be really glad if you do that. Have you any idea what I'm talking about?'
She took of her glasses and hided face in her hands.
'You're torturing me! I'm so not going to make you dinner!'
'Stop talking, go to work, guys! NOW!'
***
Marie was cleaning table. Dissecting table. That was totally disgusting, because there was blood everywhere. Kabuto made really enthusiastic dissects. It was miracle he still was healthy - well psychically, because mentally you was questionable.
The worst thing was that she was alone here - her Senpai went to another work, she didn't know what he was doing. She felt little unsecured with big fridges with dead bodies in there - probably. That wasn't very nice place to be in. Not when you're normal.
She hoped she'd end this as soon as possible. She really wanted to exited this room. Looking at parts of body in the jars was awful.
She ended cleaning table and started to clean floor, when door opened and to dissecting room come Kabuto.
'Hello, you really doing right job.' said Kabuto. 'Don't disturb yourself, I'm here only to do a dissect.'
'What?' asked girl standing up very fast. She didn't believe she heard that. 'I need to go somewhere else, I don't want to disturb you, Kabuto-san.'
'No, it's OK. You can even help me.'
'WHAT?!'
He put on apron and long latex gloves, then come to fridge, opened it and took one body form it. He put it on table and beckoned to her.
'Come on, put apron do we can start.'
'You're joking Kabuto-san! I don't want to! It smell not nice.'
'Yes, before I put it to freezer, it decayed a little. But nothing wrong with it, it's totally normal. And I don't ask about your opinion. Just wear that and came.'
She tried to stop shiver. She was terrified, but she did what he wanted.
He showed her that dead body. She thought she was going to puke.
'So, we have thirty-years-old male body, blood AB-, chakra nature: katon. Probably from Fire Country. I'm not sure on what he died, but my job is to check this. Look at those wounds.' said Kabuto in very calm way. Marie was green on her face. She didn't pay attention on what Kabuto said. 'Maria-chan, please, look closer. Something very bad bit him and teared him on pieces. No stomach, no heart, oh, and look, it's very interesting. Liver is bitten, but it's totally decayed, but it's not influence on diagnosis. So, could you help me find what happened to him?'
'I... I have no idea, Kabuto-san' she said.
'Oh well, so I think I should open him more. Be careful, there will be lot of blood.'
He took his scalpel and scissors. Marie felt sick more and more.
He opened body and after a while he rubbed his hands in apron and then in his cheek.
'Oh boy, I forgot my mask. But whatever. So, what we got here...?'
'Kabuto-san, I thing I must go to the toilet...' she whispered covering her mouth by her hand.
'Oh, it's isn't that bad.' He took something form inside body. 'Could you hold it for a while?'
He gave her something. She didn't stand it, she fell on her knees and threw up. That was really too much for her.
Kabuto smiles gently, took off gloves and come to her. He leaned to her ear and put hand on her shoulder. His voice was very calm.
'Marie-chan, you wouldn't believe what had happened to this guy. That was big, angry kitty. Very big and very angry kitty. So, could you possibly imagine another kitty who is very angry at you? Could you think about what he can do to you? I wouldn't irritated him more, don't you think? You are smart girl, think about it.' He stood up and went to door taking off his apron. 'Clean this place, you made a mess. See you later.'
And he left her like that.
***
There was past midnight when Artist entered the room. That was room, they was before, only table and chairs was  near wall. On the middle there was three sleeping bags.
'Wow, I would never expect that they give us place to sleep. When I was here before, they just tried to kill me sometimes... Marie-chan, is everything alright?'
Marie was sitting at her sleeping bag with blank look. She really didn't look very good.
'Kabuto-san made her cleaning dissecting-room just after dissect. She said that there was lot of blood and humans part of body in the jars. For me, that would be so cool, but for Marie-chan...' said Asia, but Marie cut her.
'I'm going to have nightmares. If I ever fell to sleep again! And Kabuto-san was there almost all time making fun of me. In very polite way! And... dissected someone and suggest that I'll be next one and there will be not dissect! There was blood everywhere. That was really awful. I wanna go home. And I feel sick!'
'Oi, don't worry Marie' said Asia. 'There will be better tomorrow. Just try to forget about it.'
She closed her eyes, made few hands seals and winkled her brows. And she stayed like that.
'Pardon me, but what are you doing?' Artist asked.
'I'm sending a mental hug. You know, my mental-hug-no-jutsu.'
'Are you joking right? Marie is sitting just next to you! If you want, just hug her!' he said in little shock.
'Oi... and touch her on purpose? I mean, Marie, don't feel bad, but I'm trying to not touch anyone.'
'It's OK, but there was dead bodies!' Marie cried.
'Aww... OK, but only this time' Asia said and she hug Marie. And when she talked again, her voice was unexpectedly soft and nice. Her face also had soft expression. 'Don't worry, really. Just forget about it. We here for you, you're safe. For now.' Dead glare form Artist. 'Just really, calm down, OK?'
'Yeah... thanks. I'm glad I'm not alone here. So how was your tasks?'
'Well, Kabuto-san changed his mind quickly and he made me clean hot springs' said Artist. 'There was no one at first and I thought I do it quickly, but Sasuke appears and asked if I didn't want help him with his ninjutsu training. I didn't. So he took my sketchbook and told me the would train on that his katon. And he said something about his own revenge and I'm not exactly sure if he was talking about Itachi or about me... well, I'm kinda not nice for him when I draw. And now I must in some way take back my sketchbook because I have there new Faegan pic...'
'I would help you get it back, but I'm depressed myself, so sorry.' said Asia.
'What happened in kitchen?'
'Funny story. Not funny "haha" but well...' she sighted. 'I cleaned all kitchen and believe me, that was really pain in the ass. It was so dirty! I guess no one ever cleaned that place! And when I've just started to make dinner for Kabuto, Orochimaru came. And he demanded coffee. I told him to go and f...'
'YOU DO WHAT?!' Marie suddenly asked. 'You told Orochimaru-sama to...?'
Asia giggled.
'Of course not! Do I look like suicide person? I like my life, and even if I don't, I'm so not going to be killed here. Not by him! Not by person who can puke himself! So I made him that coffee. He was quite... I don't know... glad I did that? Well... it doesn't matter now. He wanted dinner too. And spent all this time with me obviously getting on my nerves. I hate people... or snakemen around when I'm doing something and they don't help. And all Orochimaru did was talking about being Hokage in the past, Sharingan and how nice was his Gennin team. I guess there was something about Sasori too, but I'm not giving my head on it. He his mad. Really, really mad. Mad people are the worst.'
'Well, I would be scared for life if Orochimaru-sama talked with me like that' Artist said. 'But from far, that is really funny to hear.'
'Yes, it's really is.' said Marie giggling a little.
'OK, I guess, we need go to sleep. In morning I have to make Kabuto breakfast.' said Asia
'I need to prepare dissecting-room.' added Marie.
'And I must find Sasuke and take back my sketchbook. I'll die without drawing!'cried boy.
'Don't worry, we make you really nice funeral. Good night!' Asia lied down totally ignoring loud "HEY!" form Artist mouth.
***
Next morning Artist thought he was going to die form being irritated. He didn't have his sketchbook and his two teammates was arguing about parings again. Of course, they did that in time when they supposed to making their own work here and he should follow Sasuke to find right moment to take back his sketchbook. But he was kinda afraid to leave those two alone - only he knew Oto and when they would want to go somewhere, he could help. If they would be lost and found way for prison where were people with Curse Seal. He didn't want something bad happen to they.
But they were so irritating!
'But this is total love, sweet and cute. They are made for each other!' said Marie in enthusiastic way.
'No!' said Asia. 'No way! No love, not ever! They fight only once! Any talk? No. Any hot look at each other during series? No. She is older that him!'
'What's wrong with girl older than boy?'
'Nothing when it's few years difference, not decade! She is mature, responsible woman with pig. On the other hand, Kabuto is just little older that us. There can't be love between them! Kabuto isn't made for love! He is made for labs! Oh yeah, Kabuto and labs are love!'
'But Kabushizu is so cute! They look amazing together.'
'No, they don't.'
'Yes, they do!'
Girls continued to argue.
'Fangirls, huh?' said calm voice next to Artist. Boy jumped and turned around in air.
'Kabuto-san!'
'How long have they argued?'
'About thirty minutes.'
'And you're still here. Impressive. But I must say they all have some unnatural power when it comes to defending their favorite parings or heroes' said Kabuto. 'Do you have any fangril?'
'I guess. But I think I'm so gonna avoid them.'
'They always find you. You must be prepared for everything...'
'Kabuto is more like...' Asia said very angrily.
'For example that. Kabuto ended and smirk.
'Like what?' Marie asked.
'Like nerco... oi! That hurt! Kabuto-san!'
She again was punched in back of her head. Marie blinked few times.
'Two questions. Why I haven't got breakfast yet and why dissecting-room isn't prepared, hm?' he asked and wrinkled his brows. 'Stop looking at me like that, to work! You're Otonins now, you have to do your job. So - GO!' Girls didn't move. 'What?'
Mean smile form Asia. Then polite look.
'Kabuto-san, black coffee with sugar, yes?'
'With lot of sugar. Thanks. Marie-chan, go now and have faith.'
'Why?' Marie asked.
'I'm not sure if I have bodies to dissect. And when something like that happen, I take body which is the nearest. You know that my last patient died on dissect? Funny thing...'
Marie went totally pale and looked like she was going to faint. But she tottered to the door and exited the room.
After few seconds Asia broke silent by laugh.
'I'm sorry, I really like her, but that was priceless. Her expression, your words... you're so evil, Kabuto-san. You really are my idol.'
'To the kitchen. Now. Or I rethink who is going to be dissect.' Kabuto said.
'I just can't wait' she said with smirk on her face. She exited the room.
Kabuto was in little shock because he didn't scare her. To hide it, he said to Artist.
'Your sketchbook is in Sasuke-kun's room. Sasuke-kun is not there, he is on training with Orochimaru-sama. You have time for yourself as girls end their work.'
'Why?'
'Never paring or necrophilia joke. I really don't know why she has that idea. Maybe only to annoys me. She is really good in that. Ok, do what you want. I'll see you all later.'
***
'Do you know what?' asked Asia when she entered the room. Table and chairs were on their previously place, Marie and Artist sat on their places. Asia was kinda surprised that Marie's already was there. 'Hey, what are you doing here Marie-chan? I thought you would clean dissecting-room.'
'It was pretty clean and Kabuto wasn't there to distract me. I wasn't that much scared, no blood this time and that was easy! So that easy to me this time.'
'That had to be boring. No blood, no madness... and I thought you like Stein.'
'I love Stein! But madness...'
'So, what were you going to say before you started talk with Marie-chan?' Artist interrupted her. He started to think that Oto was more peaceful place before girls came. He was also quite interested where were other fans.
'Oh yes, that. So why Kabuto wasn't in dissecting-room? He was in kitchen. That bastard pissed me off all time I was there. But what is nice thing? His breakfast was awful. And I cannot make good coffee so that wasn't nice start of a day. He will be really grumpy today.'
'I would make really good breakfast for him. Kabuto in nice mood is...'
'I'm bad girl.'
'Yes, you're that kind of people who the more like person, the more push him or her away' said voice near door. Kabuto. Again he entered like a ninja. Well, he was a ninja.
'Oh, I don't need a psychologist, you analyze me for free.' Asia mumbled.
'My day didn't start in good way, so please, be nice to me. Sit down, I'll tell you about your mission.'
He sat on chair and looked at them.
'That will be hard mission, I would even say that is B rank mission. You need to...'
Knock, knock.
'Come in!'
To room entered three girls.
'Hi Kabu-chan!' said lightly one of them. She was very happy. And rest of them was in very good mood too. Team #4 was shocked. And Kabuto looked really broken.
'I gave you a mission yesterday.'
'You are so sexy, Kabuto' shouted second. 'You look amazing. And I believe you had amazing night with Oro-chan!'
'Shut up!' said first girl. 'He loves me!'
'Of course not! He loves Sasuke!'
'Eww!' said Asia with disgust. 'How someone possibly could...'
'Well, it's you who is doing necrophilia jokes.' said Kabuto in very calm way.
'Joke, just joke. Don't take it so serious. You're just asexual.'
'Say it once again and you're dead!' said angrily first girl.
'Kabuto-san, your fangirls are so pain!'
'Yes, they are. But some of them are more annoying than rest.'
'Who is more annoying?' asked Marie.
'I don't tell you. OK, what do you want? You three of course.'
'We wanted to see you!' said second girl.
'Yes, but we succeed our mission?' said third girl.
'WHAT?! So soon? And you're not dead?' asked Kabuto. He was shocked.
'That was pretty easy. We just went there and we have what you wanted.' First girl put on table lock of pink hair. Marie stood up and her eyes was big.
'Is this what I think it is?' she asked.
'Sakura's hair.'
'You're joking right? You sent them for Sakura's hair?' asked Asia. 'I don't believe! You...'
'OK, you three - half hour braek. I'll talk with you later, OK? Go to your room.' Kabuto said.
'It's so nice of you Kabby-chan!'
Girls waved to him and exited the room. Kabuto hided his face in his hands.
'Kabusaku!'
'Shut up, Marie-chan.'
'Kabuto-san, Sakura's hair?' said Asia with unbelievable. 'Are you really lost your mind? Or... you're more evil than I thought.'
'Two reasons. First, almost every team is form people who could kill each other because they like different parings with me. And fangirls are kinda aggressive if it comes to that.' Kabuto pulled up his glasses on nose. 'Second, if they make it to Konoha, there that pink-haired girl kill them all when they try to cut her hair. And it's no single thing, they almost all came back. Team who brings Sasori's doll, team who bring Pain earring, another - Kakashi's porn, and so on.'
'You really hate them all'
'I heard that only one who had to bring Uchiha Itachi failed. But they are now Itachi's fans so nothing bad happened. Only one team hasn't come back yet.'
'So, what was our B rank mission?' asked Marie.
'The worst I could ever imagine. I almost run from Oto when I get this thing to my day plan. But it was canceled because Orochimaru-sama doesn't want to loose his best medic...'
'Orokabu forever!' That some voice form corridor.
'I said TO YOUR ROOM!' shouted Kabuto.
'But I miss you, you sexy thing!'
'Kill me please... That revange is getting harder and harder. Too many people who adore you in one place and in one time, and when you find out that they all are indestructible. No, enough. They all going back home. They never learn, they never die... so it has no sense. So you can go home...'
'Thank you, Kabuto-san!' said Asia very enthusiastic.
'...as soon as you end your B-rank mission. I have headache.'
***
B-rank mission. You could think that short for "better run before you get it". But they would never expected that it was very true.
Big room, many chairs, blackboard, desk. What worst, poster with anatomy and Sasuke sitting in first line. Kabuto with coffee and gently smirk in the corner (well, that wasn't emo corner). And team #4 next to desk. Marie blushed, Artist was all red and Asia giggled.
'That is at least S-rank mission! For ANBU or Sannins!' said Artist. 'I don't believe...'
'Oh, that would be so fun. We so gonna make it. Even Kabuto will...' Asia whispered.
'But it's...' Marie started, but Sasuke interrupted her.
'Can you possibly start, I don't have all day. So tell me how I can restore my clan?'
'Tell him where the babies came from!' said calmly Kabuto. He was so glad.
'Form all missions I would so much prefer another mission. I don't know, kill Hokage or all Akatsuki' said Artist. 'I don't want to talk about... making badies'
'Procreation is normal thing, I don't know why Kabuto-san didn't tell him about this.'
'Orochimaru-sama should!'
'Sasuke, babies come form eggs' Asia said.
Kabuto chocked. Sasuke looked at her with unbelievable.
'You shouldn't joke like that so laud, he could...' Kabuto started but door it laudly.
'Who the hell made that joke again?!' Orochimaru entered the room. He was very angry.
'Marie-chan!' said Asia very fast.
'What?!' Four voices asked suddenly.
'How could you...?'
'Come with me.' Orochimaru said.
'Wha... Why... it was not...' Marie said. She was very confused. And nervously.
'Don't argue with me. I hate that joke. With me, now!'
Marie was pale, but she went after him.
'How could you?' she asked Asia.
'Sorry... I really...' They exited. 'I really didn't want... that was a joke!'
'You're evil.' Kabuto said. 'That should be you. But, never mind. That will be the best revenge I could have on her. Die stupid idea of Kabukitty' said Kabuto with happiness on his face.
'You're really mean' said Artist.
'Can you start explanation? I don't care about her, so don't talk about her.' said Sasuke. 'Start. Now. My training is waiting."
So Asia started totally medical explanation, so Sasuke didn't understand a word. Kabuto looked interested. Artist yawned.
'And that we called childbirth. So Sasuke, any question?' said Asia after two hours. She found pointer.
Sasuke had a nap. He obviously didn't understand a word and didn't listen at all.
'I guess, I would have' said suddenly Kabuto. 'About third week of pregnancy. You really think...' Kabuto was sitting in last line.
But before he ended asking question Marie entered room. She was in big shock. In very big shock.
'Marie-chan, I'm sorry, I didn't want...' Asia said very fast and nervously.
'Please, don't say a word' Marie said. 'That was the most strange thing in my life. I don't want to talk about it.'
'Forgive me?'
'Forget about it. Not now. Maybe some day, but not now.'
'Marie-chan, but he didn't do anything bad to you?' asked Artist finally looked away form his sketchbook, where he was drawing for all time of Asia's speech.
'No, nothing physically. That was just strange.'
Kabuto stood up and walked to them.
'So, I must say, that was good work. Sasuke got his explanation, Orochimaru-sama was kept away while that. That could be not nice if he interrupted. There were many problems. Orochimaru-sama when I tried to explain things to Sasuke-kun, talked about Itachi, and they went to training. I hate when someone don't let me fini...'
'So now we can go home?' Asia asked.
'You will never learn.'
'Can we?'
"Yes, you...'
To room came three girls. They never seen them before. Probably another team.
'Kabuto-san. We have that!' shouted one of them.
'It's impossible, That mission was suicide.' Kabuto said.
'Kabuto-san? Where is Sasuke, dattebayo?' shouted boy in orange track suit. Blond boy in orange track suit .
'What the fuck!? That supposed to be Kyuubi's tail, not Uzumaki Naruto! Now...' Kabuto said loudly and nervously.
'Wait a sec, Kabuto-san!' said one of that girls with big grin. 'Naruto, look, Sasuke is there!'
'SASUKEH!'
Sasuke opened his eyes and fall from his chair.
'Naruto?'
Red chakra started forming fox around blond boy. He started to change.
'Here you are, living Kyuubi's tali!'
Everyone except Naruto and Sasuke ran and hided near wall. Sasuke was to much shocked to start fight immediately.
But before he started doing something, Naruto has three tails and started forming fourth, when something really heavy hit his head.
'How many times I need to say - NO BIJUU IN OTO!' said Orochimaru, who appeared behind Naruto. 'You three, take him back to Jiraya... or go for him, I didn't have lately someone with who I can drink sake. Then, Kabuto, you had enough fun and revenge. All of you, go home. Artist-kun, I don't want to see you in a week, and this is serious. Good bye and be nice for Kabuto, everything is very hard to him, OK Marie-chan, Artist-kun, Asia... well I don't ask you to do anything. You will piss him off whatever happens.'
There wasn't even ten seconds when Marie and Artist waved to Kabuto and disappeared. Asia looked around nervously, but in a sec Artist appeared again, caught girl's arm, and vanished with her.
***
Kabuto was very tied but glad that everything was over now. His revenge wasn't big success, but it wasn't fail too. He scared some of them, got some DNA samples, and there was even fun with Naruto who lost his memory for a while and his faith that Orochimaru is his mother was priceless. His fans were indestructible, what was kinda funny. But for a while he would have peace. What was very good. Even Artist wouldn't be here for a while, what let Kabuto think about his work in calm way.
But tomorow. Now he needed a hot shower.
He was in his bathroom and took off all his clothes along with glasses. That wouldn't be better thing that hot water on his back.
He opened door to shower and wanted to come in.
But there was giggle.
And he knew that voice. He went so red.
Girl (or boy) who started all this madness.
'Oi, Kabuto-chan, you look even cuter without your underwear!'
'OUT!!!'